Breakfast
Penutbutter toast (120 cal)
Lunch
Veggie delite sub (170 cal)
Dinner
Veggie burger (400 cal)
I'm going to go be productive and clean my house for a bit. Keep my mind off of the fork and spoon. I'm feeling pretty low today. My friend bought me a sub because he said a granola bar isn't much of a lunch haha. like 20 minutes after i ate it i really wanted to stick my face in the toilet but i can't really do that at work. Especially after it took so long at home to get business done. It's funny how that's the type of thing you do once and just want to keep doing it. You get to be part of the social circle and get to feel normal and not guilty about eating...and then after you just get it out like it was almost never there again. Before I never understood what drove girls to destroy their throats with excessive purging but now I understand. Part of it is control, part of it is acceptance, part of it is self image. I hope I never feel like I have to do it again. Maybe the need to get the food out will fade if I resist long enough.
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