I semi fasted today sucessfully till late tonight when my boss was like 'hey want some pizza i bought it for you guys' fucking ate 2 pieces. But other than that it wasn't too bad. I had an iced coffee and a redbull today and was drinking seltzer water during work. I definitely had the will power today...but i got super hungry tonight.
Gonna try to fast again tomorrow and see how it goes...
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Todays gonna be a good day
I wieghed myself today and was at 124.6. Nice to see the number is going down especially after all that I ate yesterday. I had about 700 calories and then another 700 calories after 8pm which is my worst total binge time. I got contacted by someone who hopefully will be my future roommate. Time to clean the windows in my car.
Breakfast 2 pieces of penutbutter toast (300 cal)
Lunch gonna get a salad from somewhere mfer!
Well ok lunch wasn't a salad but dinner was! I ate a spicey chicken sandwich for lunch which is like 440 calories so not too terrible. All in all I probably ate about 1000 calories which isn't too bad. My stomach is super upset right now though.
Breakfast 2 pieces of penutbutter toast (300 cal)
Lunch gonna get a salad from somewhere mfer!
Well ok lunch wasn't a salad but dinner was! I ate a spicey chicken sandwich for lunch which is like 440 calories so not too terrible. All in all I probably ate about 1000 calories which isn't too bad. My stomach is super upset right now though.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Need to get back to basics
125.4 this morning :-/ I might be bloated from my pre-period...feel like it should be going on right now getting cramps and shit but maybe I just missed it because of stress...
I ate for breakfast (185 cal)
One piece of bread (70 cal)
1 tlbs penutbutter (90 cal)
1 tsp of Honey (25 cal)
Lunch (320 cal)
Hamburger bun (120 cal)
Veggie Chicken patty (140 cal)
Ranch (60 cal)
Dinner (960 cal)
1/4 single burger from wendy's (400 cal)
Medium Fry (430 cal)
Honey mustard (130 cal)
Snack (130)
Wheat toast and hummus (130 cal)
Total for today is fucking 1595 calories.....wtf is wrong with me....bleh fast food is such a heavy thing...I'm definitely making a sandwich tomorrow. My cat is going nuts on this toy mouse and it's making me so happy right now. Time to go colapse from exhaustion.
I ate for breakfast (185 cal)
One piece of bread (70 cal)
1 tlbs penutbutter (90 cal)
1 tsp of Honey (25 cal)
Lunch (320 cal)
Hamburger bun (120 cal)
Veggie Chicken patty (140 cal)
Ranch (60 cal)
Dinner (960 cal)
1/4 single burger from wendy's (400 cal)
Medium Fry (430 cal)
Honey mustard (130 cal)
Snack (130)
Wheat toast and hummus (130 cal)
Total for today is fucking 1595 calories.....wtf is wrong with me....bleh fast food is such a heavy thing...I'm definitely making a sandwich tomorrow. My cat is going nuts on this toy mouse and it's making me so happy right now. Time to go colapse from exhaustion.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
I hate this time
This time of the month always fucks me up so bad. I stepped on the scale after a shower just now and it read 128 WWWWWWWTTTTTFFFFFFFFF. I and just at a loss for words. I can't believe I'm letting myself fall into old habits. I guess that's why I haven't been posting as much I feel so fucking guilty for letting myself slip. I tell myself that I don't care what I eat today and then i go shovel crap down my throat. I ate a pizza hut personal pizza yesterday and a english muffin with hummus and a can of soup aaaaaand a fucking penut butter and jelly sandwich and granola bar wtf? I know it doesn't seem like a lot but clearly it it way to much when it makes me gain like 3 lbs in 2 days. I just want to have fucking out bursts and scream in the middle of my house because:
I
HAVE
NO
CONTROL
I need to find it back and fast or I'm going to lose my mind and start suffering for it. I can't go back to how I was last year...sleeping all the time becoming anti social just freaking out for no reason. Depression is so terrifying to me. Tomorrow I need to:
1)Write my resume
2)Submit my resume to several businesses that I wouldn't mind working at. I'm going to set the bar high and say it needs to be at least 10
3)Vacuum out my car
4)put an add in the paper for the cats
I
HAVE
NO
CONTROL
I need to find it back and fast or I'm going to lose my mind and start suffering for it. I can't go back to how I was last year...sleeping all the time becoming anti social just freaking out for no reason. Depression is so terrifying to me. Tomorrow I need to:
1)Write my resume
2)Submit my resume to several businesses that I wouldn't mind working at. I'm going to set the bar high and say it needs to be at least 10
3)Vacuum out my car
4)put an add in the paper for the cats
fuuuuck ml
I'm at 126...Need to lose 3 to get back to where I was last week. FML and my family for having awesome food. FM for eating fast food...wth is wrong with me.
Friday, August 21, 2009
I'm so ugly
I'm looking at facebook pictures and untagging/deleting the ones of me when I was heavier. I'm just so disgusting in a lot of the pictures. I hate almost every picture there is of me because I hate the way I look. There are very few that I'm happy with. Fuck the camera. I'm super PMS'ing right now and I'm supposed to go to the movies with this guy tomorrow. I hope he doesn't think I'm a giant bitch for being snappy. Oh you poor men that have to deal with us messed up women. Is it really worth it? Apparently not since divorce rates rae so high.
I bought a box of donuts and at nearly the whole thing in 2 days...I think that's like 3000 calories. I'm so disgusting. I started eating this chicken roll thing but felt pretty bad about half way through it. Oh and something smells rank in the closet that we keep the garbage. Pee Yuuuu. I need to stop binging. Lately I've just been going with it and watching my weight climb to 126 on some days. After this weekend is over I'm going to fast for 10 days which is when I have my picnic planned. I want to get down to 120 for realzies. I'm through playing around.
I'm gonna grab a salad today for lunch and eat some of my sugar free jello for breakfast. Gonna hit the gym tonight after work. I will be strong and I will be thin and beautiful...eventually.
I bought a box of donuts and at nearly the whole thing in 2 days...I think that's like 3000 calories. I'm so disgusting. I started eating this chicken roll thing but felt pretty bad about half way through it. Oh and something smells rank in the closet that we keep the garbage. Pee Yuuuu. I need to stop binging. Lately I've just been going with it and watching my weight climb to 126 on some days. After this weekend is over I'm going to fast for 10 days which is when I have my picnic planned. I want to get down to 120 for realzies. I'm through playing around.
I'm gonna grab a salad today for lunch and eat some of my sugar free jello for breakfast. Gonna hit the gym tonight after work. I will be strong and I will be thin and beautiful...eventually.
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