I'm disgusting

2:00pm
I've been feeling a little down and PMS'y lately. I wanted to go work out today but need to work in an hour. I ate a fucking MCD meal because I felt like stuffing my face. What is wrong with me. I wasn't very careful yesterday and I'm just plain rekless today. I might call out and just sulk tonight. Haven't decided yet.

3:45pm
Ok maybe I do have a problem, I just spent the last 20 minutes in my bathroom trying to decide if I should do it. I swore I never would but at that moment it didn't seem like it was a bad alternative to letting the fats run through my system and stick to the skin of my body. I really did want to work out today but I just couldn't find the motivation. As long as I am a healthy weight I'll be fine right? My issues aren't as bad as some people's. I'm not addicted to drugs or alcohol. I'm not destroying my body with addiction. I'm trying to be pretty...

10:06pm
Done with work. As soon as I got that shit out of my stomach I felt almost empowered. I don't know if I should consider this a good thing or not. I took my scale out of my bathroom and stuck it under my dresser. Now I won't weigh myself like 6 times a day.

At least the rest of the night after purging I felt better and more happy, and less depressed. I worked and didn't feel hungry. I'm probably going to go to bed soon so i don't feel the need to binge in the middle of the night again.