Bad bad day

124.4 today, I feel like I'm on a fucking rollercoaster.

Breakfast
Penutbutter toast (130 cal)
chocolate soy milk (115 cal)

Lunch
Granola bar (140 cal)

Dinner
Rice (200 cal)
Chicken (300 cal)
Veggies (100 cal)

I wish I was a happier person today. I feel like I could just die. My day spiraled out of control after I woke up from a nap. I think part of it is that my husband seems to have everything together and it just makes me feel like a mess by comparason. I have most ppl fooled into thinking I've got it together. I wonder if he'd even say anything if he knew that I just made myself vomit. A couple weeks ago I told him that I didn't have a problem with food. I most definitely have a problem. I eat emotionally and I've been feeling so sad lately and then I feel even worst when i realize how much I just stuffed in my face. I need someone to care about me and what I'm going through. I don't think I want help for my problem because I'm sure I'll get over it on my own eventually.

My hands are shaking and my eyes are wet. But at least I don't feel like my world is going to exploid anymore. I have my feet firmly on the ground and I will survive to fight another day. Now if only I had a cure for my insomnia.

Does the vomit always have to come out your nose? I had rice for dinner and it was just chilling in my nose after I was cleaning myself up.